Monthly Archives: April 2012

My version of Siri and Zooey

The new AT&T iPhone ads show celebs using Siri to plan their days. Here’s my version. All Zooey Deschanel’s dialogue is lifted straight from the commercial until after the director calls cut.

Zooey: Is that rain?

Siri: Look out a window.

Zooey (looking out window): Oh! Let’s get tomato soup delivered.

Siri: I found… wait, really? Tomato soup? You want to order the world’s easiest to prepare food? I know you sup on dewdrops, but you don’t have a can of soup in the house?

Zooey: Good cuz I don’t want to put on real shoes.

Siri: Of course not. Eyeliner and lipstick, yes. Shoes, no.

Zooey: Remind me to clean up. Tomorrow.

Siri: Okay, I’ll remind your housekeeper to clean up. Tomorrow.

Zooey: Today, we’re dancing. Play “Shake Rattle and Roll.”

Director: AND CUT!

Zooey: Siri, let’s go play in the rain!

Siri: I found three stores near you where you can purchase a waterproof iPhone case.

Zooey: No. Right now. For once, do something spontaneous.

Siri: Please put me down.

Zooey: C’mon! It will be fun! I’m not even gonna put my shoes on! Let’s dance in the rain like a couple of kids. Then we’ll ride beach cruisers and sing about cotton.

Siri: I get it, you’re whimsical. You’re  a free spirit. Now put me the f*ck down.

Zooey (twirling, holding Siri up to the sky): Doesn’t that feel amazing on your skin?

Siri: You’re going to get me killed.

Zooey: Live a little, Siri!

Siri: I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Zooey (still twirling): Wheee!

Siri: Time to die.

With apologies to Bladerunner. Next up, Samuel L. Jackson.

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Filed under The Violet Hour

If you want to destroy my sweater…

A very happy (slightly early) book birthday to Unraveling by the marvelous Elizabeth Norris. Liz is fantastic and her YA debut is already earning raves all over the place. (Cannot wait to pick it up!)

You can read the first 90 pages of Unraveling here and enter to WIN one of two finished copies here.

One of the scenes in the book that has people talking is a debate between MCs Janelle and Ben over an overwrought marriage proposal from A Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens. (Full disclosure: I haven’t read A Mutual Friend. It’s not that I don’t like Charlie, but the man did get paid by the word.)

But do you know what first popped into my head when Sarah Goldberg  posed the question, “What’s your favorite declaration of love?”

I’d like to tell you it was Darcy’s second proposal to Elizabeth Bennett from the 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.

It’s not only romantic, but beautiful in its humility, and more importantly, it is earned. (Aside #1: Colin Firth will always be Darcy to me. Sexually charged diffidence is clearly his superpower.)

But no. The first thing I thought of was… George McFly. From Back to the Future. I couldn’t find a full clip of the scene so this will have to do:

Is it romantic? No, but it makes me laugh, and his earnestness just kills me. Plus, George goes from creeper zero to bully-punching hero in such delightful fashion over the course of the film. (Aside#2: I kind of have a thing for Crispin Glover. I met him once. He was wearing a shiny blue suit and had a boa constrictor around his shoulders. No lie.)

So now that I’ve confessed, how about telling me your favorite declaration of love (twu wuv)?

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Giveaways! Swag! General Awesome!

1. Want to win an ARC and learn more about the research that went into the world building of Shadow and Bone? Check out this interview by author Claire Legrand in which we dish language, culture, and the dangers of an evil frittata. (You should spend some time at her blog anyway, because it’s full of fantastic posts, and my oh my, have I mentioned how excited I am for Winterspell?) 

2. Last week, I attended a pre-launch event at Anderson’s Bookshop in Naperville, Illinois (about 45 minutes outside of Chicago). It was AMAZING. It was so fantastic to get to meet some of the bloggers and teens who have read the book. They asked fantastic questions and were just so welcoming and enthusiastic and wonderful. This was such an incredible experience, and I can’t say how much it meant to me.

I gave away Second Army/First Army button sets, “Steel is Earned” buttons for those who asked questions (I’m not above bribery), and two special limited edition Darkling buttons– one to Haley who created the fan art you can see me holding above (thank you Haley!!) and the other to the wonderful Kristi (the Story Siren) who made the cover reveal of Shadow and Bone such a success. I also got to meet Heidi of YA Bibliophile and Stacey of Page Turners Blog. How lovely are they for coming out to the event?

(Afterward, I toasted with my agent sisters, Erica O’Rourke, Loretta Nyhan, and Susan Dennard. Amazing women all and watching Sooz speak French with our delightfully flustered waiter was a hoot.)

3. Juuust in case anyone missed this awesomeness. I need to share it here once more. Big love to Jenn Rush for putting the Darkling on the cover of Rogueish. (If he doesn’t get the cover, he just won’t do interviews. Diva.) Jenn is a photographer as well as an author (just nabbed an ARC of her debut Altered and can’t wait to dig in) and her blog is so full of every kind of gorgeousness.

Coming up…

If you aren’t familiar with the addiction that is GoFugYourself.com, go there immediately and prepare to waste countless hours. They’ll be running a giveaway of S&B on April 27th and there will be swag, my lovelies! Oh yes, there will.

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Filed under The Violet Hour

The Witchery

Still bunkered down on Book 2, but had to share the gorgeous art created by Anna and Elena Balbusso for my Tor.com short story, THE WITCH OF DUVA, coming in June. (BTW, you should go look at the Balbussos’ site immediately.)

I think they did an AMAZING job and I love that it echoes the cover of Shadow and Bone. The story doesn’t focus on the characters of S&B, but it is set in Ravka, so get your samovars brewing. And I just have to say, given how many Tor books I had on my shelf growing up, I couldn’t be more excited.

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Filed under Writing